Sunday, April 15, 2007

Frenched and Fried

Inna has run off with a League 2 midfielder (or milleux) from Istres named El-Brazi. It was right after their big 3-2 win over Strasbourg that, by the way, doesn't change the fact that they're being relegated to the National league, one step up from pick-up soccer in the parque. I can't believe it. I guess he romanced her at a little disco outside Rheims; how either one of them got there is open to speculation, but I suspect alcohol was involved.

It's so disappointing.

Now I've got to explain to the suitor in Hong Kong that his Russian Victoria Secrets model (okay, so I did a little hard sell on the guy) is throwing in with a low-scoring left-mid who might be starting to think about another career in, say, restaurant service or Crepe truck management, since he's O-L-D and still banging around the lower divisions in Surrendermonkeyland.

This Hong Kong guy is not going to be happy.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Skulduggery, Pt. 2

I lost Inna again.

Yesterday, she agreed to meet Paul in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, on Ile de la Cite. But we had to get a chocolate pastry bread thing first, and then some Orangina to wash it down, and by the time we got there it was pretty crowded. We split up to look for him. Inna had the Polaroid he sent; there's no guarantee it's even of him, but it's all we've got, so there you go. I walked the perimeter, came back to the entrance to the church and waited.

Inna never came back.

Paul showed up finally. He's got a wicked head cold, or allergies. Something about dust mites. I can barely understand him, whatwith the accent and the stuffed sinuses. He looks like somebody's hit him with a hose, and blames me for everything that's happened. I'm kinda tired of these teabags, and if Inna ever finds her cell phone and tells me what happened to her, I'm going to call the whole thing off.

I got a new Spam from a guy in Hong Kong. Hope springs eternal.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Skulduggery in France, pt. 1

The thing with Paul and Inna hasn't worked out so well.

I wanted them to meet at this subway stop in Paris. It was raining. Inna said she had a cold. Paul got stuck in traffic.

Nobody showed.