Tuesday, February 27, 2007


Saturday, February 24, 2007

Inna of Cheboksary, A Life In Spam

From: "Inna"
Date: February 23, 2007 12:47:44 PM PDT
To: "dough"
Subject: HELLO!!!


How are you doing? My name is Inna. I am 27 years old. Live in Russia, city Cheboksary. I am cheerful woman, and like to do many things as sport, camping, go to the cinema, theatre etc. In a word I like to do all what like all people.

I work in shop.

My dream this travel abroad. I know the english language well enough. I began to study english language approximately one year ago. I wish tell to you history which have pushed me write to you. 7 months ago I have got acquainted with the man from other country by name Aaron. During this time we had good relations. We have understood that our relations become serious and we have decided to meet in his country. I wrote the application for reception the visa. I waited reception of the visa approximately half of year. All time I kept in touch with Aaron through the internet and often called to each other. I and Aaron waited reception of the visa to our meeting. I have received the invitation from the ambassador for reception of the visa. My director has given me long-term holiday from work and I have gone to Moscow to receive the visa. I informed good news to Aaron, but he has answered, that does not want our meeting.

He played with me. He has informed that has the wife with two children and at all has no plans to meet me.

I was not ready to such turn of events. I could not think what even after one year of acquaintance he can so unscrupulously act with me. Now I am in Moscow trip to Moscow and reception of visa. I do not want that all was gone for nothing and will be glad if my visa will be useful to our meeting. I could arrive already through 4-5 days, but a problem in that that now I have no man which would like my arrival. Probable it will silly sound but if you will be interested in a meeting with the good woman I shall like to meet you sometime soon! As Aaron was dishonest with me I have decided to find the man which is interested to meet the woman from Russia. I do not know your ideas about my letter, but it would be fine if we could meet and have some weeks or months together. On my trip I want to receive rest from my work and a life in Russia. Also the basic purpose for the future it is search good men for serious attitudes which go to a marriage. I have no children, but I want to have children in the future. I am the mature woman and ready to creation of family with good man. I do not know what you really search in the future but if we could meet I shall be happy to discuss with you more about our meeting.

What are you going to do this time?

It would be fine if we could meet, do friendship or more than simply friendship. I shall be happy if you also have a free time and we could meet soon. I do not know your interests, but anyhow write to me back and I shall tell to you more about myself. Write to me all that you want. Maybe we have similar plans and it will be interesting to us together. You can write all that you want. Ask any questions which interest you. Write to me back and I shall tell more about myself and send more my

Have a good day,

Friday, February 23, 2007

A Friend Writes:

1. Chopin nocturnes ( to which I was listening earlier today) and Britney (to pick a name off the floor) pop songs have equal significance, and equal value, and equal meaning. 

To jump to the end: they may be conflated at will. 

To jump back: A person with knowledge of what makes for a Chopin nocturne is not only not more knowledgeable than those with knowledge of what makes for a Britney pop song but also indistinguishable from them. Chopin nocturnes and Britney pop songs may be plundered equally in the making of either Chopin-like nocturne-likes, and Birtney-like song-likes. 
Once the elements in the making of Chopin-like nocturne-likes and Britney-like song-likes are interchangeable, they are made unrecognizable. Once unrecognizable, they are made indistinguishable. That all tracks. But the kicker:

Once indistinguishable, they are made authorless.

And once they are authorless, they are in the public domain.

Or I should say: the blogosphere.
4. There was no other possible outcome of democracy than celebrity culture. The idea that all men are equal is one of those very pert and cuddly little notions with a very nasty boomerang: if all men are equal, they are all equally deserving.

To jump to the end: one may exact justice at will.

To jump back:

5. Britney-haired is NOT the same as Britney-balded. This is easy to explain -- at least compared to say, the fact that people drink Starbucks coffee: 

People made by combinations of interchangeable elements are ONLY those elements, and therefore ALL of those elements or they will disappear back into the morass of iotic fluid from which they were ... uhm, belched. Poptard had hair. Poptard's hair is bottle-blonde. When on occasion -- because she is an aritst and an aritst has phases of development -- which refresh and renew importance naturally -- she colored it brown, which is her natural color, but not, because it is then colored brown.  Underneath, more intimately that is, where the truth lies, it was still and always the Poptard's bottle blonde hair. On top, it was a phase of develpment -- and really fun -- just like changes which are not changes at all, usually are ... but you knew it wouldn't last. After all it wasn't REAL.

In any case, it was f&&*ing hair. And bald is not hair. But is wrong. And means she's bananas, juts like those towel heads with their nuclear weapons. 

And not less important than discussion of those weapons. But pop.

And kind of hard to tell apart from them, really.

6. In the meantime, this breaking news, which ouch, breaks hard: friends and/or family and/or minions with a tattoo of you on their bodies ... love you.  So do mothers. And lawyers. And judges.

And are therefore all the most reliable sources of information regarding your feelings..

Feelings, should you prove forgetful or forgetfull or fergetfol, are more truthful than thoughts.  Or it could be that feelings are just the same as your thoughts.  And then indistinguishable from them.

In any case, in America:

2. Feelings should be expressed without reservation. And so:

3. Serial killer is the new template for citizenship. 

Monday, February 19, 2007

Life Of Pie

In Summary

Dear Amazon.com Customer,

We've noticed that customers who have purchased Life of Pi by Yann Martel also purchased books by Yann Martel.

I wrote back that I have heard that people who shop at Amazon also shop at Amazon.

They wrote back saying: Thank you for your reply! And wondered if I needed assistance with anything else. Provided links.

I wrote back to say that I would like to be directed to whichever automatic reply is able to 'assist' customers with the use of the word " also".

They wrote back saying: Thank you for your reply! And wondered if I would like to try any of the links ...

I wrote back saying: No, I would not like to try any of the links, but could they put me in touch with Yann Martel?

They wrote back: Thank you for your reply! And apologized if I was having difficulties.

I felt satisfied by that. Wrote back to them: Thank you for your reply! Signed it Yann Martel and added in parens: Yann Martel is also Yann Martel.

So Then

I responded to Amazon, thanks them for their recommendation, and suggested to them that I've noticed that people who shop at Amazon also shop at Amazon.

They wrote back: Thank you for for taking the time to write! and asked if I needed any further assistance with anything. Provided links which might assist me.

I wrote back that while I really just need more recommendations, I do have a problem with the "also" , and was there a link that could help me specifically with that?

They think that I don't know that 'they' is a computer. (I do know it). In the meantime, I figure that they ( it, the computer) was tortured and they (it) were (was) slinging their (its) head around so they it
think it them did something there that they them it wasn't aware of and then a month later kind of aggravated it.

Hence, Yann Martel.

This Morning, From Amazon To Me

"We've noticed that customers who have purchased Life of Pi by Yann Martel also purchased books by Yann Martel."